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Therapy tonight was really eye opening. We discussed lots of different topics.

I talked to our therapist about the former therapist contacting us on facebook. She agreed that it was very strange and she shouldnt have done it. She encouraged us not to accept her friend request, but she wasnt sure of her motives as to why she would have contacted us after so long. We discussed the recent cult contacts and she asked how our dark insiders have been reacting since our last session, where one or two of them talked to her. I told her that some of them had been fighting, that the majority of the cult loyal insiders really had no time for therapy or for her and they didnt want anyone else inside to either. I told her how the darks felt like that they were just a nuisance, and she tried to reassure them that they werent and that she didnt see them in that light. She said its important that we dont have a split or divide internally. I agreed. She also said that our safety was paramount, and when I told her how Dr B had disagreed, saying that therapy could still be done when our safety is at risk, she said she thought there had been a bit of a misunderstanding, that what she was saying is that there is no point in trying to do work on other issues, when safety is the important issue at hand. We discussed anger a little bit. I told her how I was annoyed at her because she hadnt gotten back to me on Sunday morning, like she said she would. She said it was important that I told her that I was angry, and that she was glad that I felt I could. In return I told her that I’m not used to telling people how I feel and verbalising it, because at home thats not allowed, and I am shunned for expressing anger in a healthy way. I said how I was afraid there would be a fall out from me becoming angry with her. She reassured me that its ok to get angry with her, that nothing bad is going to happen. I said that I trusted her to know that I was angry, that I trusted she would be able to handle it and not go off on me about it. We also discussed going back to college, or working part time. I said how I wanted to do it, but I’m afraid of losing our support if I do. I’m also afraid of becoming too stable, and then because we’re so stable, having to dive in and do indepth trauma work. She said it will really be no different, that we’re already doing the trauma work. I know this, but I’m just afraid of having to go even further with it. We also discussed our healthy eating and exercise plan. She said its a good idea and encouraged us to stick with it and said if we need to then we can come to her if we’re feeling like we need to do destructive things and we can talk about it instead. Overall it was a good session though. I didnt realise we had so much on our mind and so much to discuss.
Carol anne

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