I had some time with our therapist last night. I told her about our healthy eating plan. She said that I am doing good to try that, even though I have an eating disorder. I told her that I hoped I’d be able to resist from stepping on the scales 100 times a day, I’m kinda obsessed with doing that. She told me to stick to weighing myself once a week, the same time every time. She said if I cant resist the scales, then I should not go near it, instead I should let the adults like Carol anne and Brooklyn and Liz and the other adults worry about the scales. I said I’d try but I couldnt promise anything. But so far I havent weighed myself which is good, right? I told her that Dr B, who is our psychiatrist, had told me that I need to work on my impulsivity. She said we could try working on that when I come out over the next few weeks if I want to. She asked me if I could think of any ways of distracting myself from doing impulsive things. I said not really, and then she said what about taking a deep breath, when your head starts going crazy with thoughts. So we tried that. She said I’m good at taking deep breaths! She said “your probably one of the best in the system at doing that!”. That made me happy. I told her that when I take a deep breath, I try to focus on the breath. She said that was good because you cant do two things at once, when you breathe in you have to focus on it, so it allows you to stop thinking for a while. Over the next week I’m going to try the deep breatheing thing. We also talked about relaxation. She asked me if I could sit back into the chair, because I was sitting bolt upright in the chair. I said thats cuz I am always ready to run! I need to be ready just in case something happens! She said could I trust her to look after me and I said yes I think I can. She said nobody would come in, and if anyone came to the office door that she’d be the one to deal with them, and I dont have to worry about that. So we practiced sitting back into the chair, and relaxing. That was really hard, but I did it! We’re going to practice noticing that too over the next few sessions, noticing when I’m not relaxed and stuff.
Emily age 12