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I just want an end to the pain. Its incredible. I cant take it. I cant stand the depth of the pain. Its sucking every ounce of life out of my body. I dont want it. I want someone else to experience it. I know thats selfish of me. But I cant help it. I’m sitting here in tremendous physical pain, a symptom of the severe emotional pain and turmoil I am in, we are in. Suicide would be so easy. Nobodys watching me. I just go in the bathroom and do something. Right now I’m not sure whats stopping me. Perhaps its that if I did that then one of the patients in my ward would no doubt find me. Anyway I’m not sure what I’d even do once I was in there. The mirors dont break. I could try to drown myself but I probably wouldnt be successsful. I’m just so done with everything. The only thing that would make me happy now is if I could talk to my so. But at the same time I hate burdening her too, even though I know a problem shared is a problem halfed. I just cant see an end to all this torture. Where will it end? And when? Will I make it? Do I even want to make it?

Carol anne