This says what I wanted to say but couldnt find the words. Thanks Hope for putting into words what is so hard to put into words. Your post touched me deeply. XXX
To be perfectly honest, I dread and resent this day. I know that’s a very unpopular opinion, but I’m not sorry. I just can’t embrace it and write a tearjerker post about my close calls with suicide and how glad I am that I didn’t succeed.
I’m not glad I didn’t succeed. I’m not actively suicidal right now, but my life is difficult and painful every day. If any one of my suicide attempts had succeeded, I wouldn’t have to drag myself through that every day. I wouldn’t have to worry about whether I can find a doctor who will give me medication to manage my chronic pain. I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming homeless because my disability check isn’t enough for anyone to survive on. I wouldn’t have to worry about how to get therapy when no one thinks I need help. I wouldn’t have to worry about…
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