yes…crap. That is how I am feeling. Everything is crappy. And I am alone. And I am scared. And I feel hopeless. And I feel helpless. And I am remembering. And its not just in dreams that I am remembering, no, it is during waking hours, and I hate the memories. I wish I could turn them off. Flashbacks are a bitch, let me tell you. I know many of our readers will understand. After all, many of you live them day in and day out, like we do. If any of you are out there, i could use good thoughts, hugs, support, whatever you can manage. I wish I had some med to knock my ass out. But I dont. So instead I’ve been flicking through tv channels, listening to the radio, reading peoples words in their blogs, anything to get rid of my own pain and turmoil.