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Well its not even 7 AM and I’m up. The truth is, I didnt go to sleep at all tonight. I just couldnt. I had a bit of a rought night. There was lots of switching, flashbacks, trauma related memories and ptsd symptoms, and just general unease within our system. I hate with a purple passion nights like this. Even our dog was sleeping most of the night, otherwise I probably would have cuddled with him on our bed for a while. Instead I played music, did stuff online, talked to Kat on the phone, and when I was not doing any of those things, I played games on my I phone. I tried watching tv but as usual it was all info mercials in the middle of the night, I forgot I have net flicks, damn! I sware dissociation is a bitch. How do you forget you have a service that you pay 6.99 a month for? But anyway, now that its morning, and bright outside, we feel a little better. We’ve just finished letting Nitro out to get busy, get busy is what we tell the dogs when we want them to do their business! I had some baked beans for breakfast, yeah I know thats not a breakfast food, but well, I ate, and thats something, right? And the beans were gooood too! Later this morning I’m going to go to the basement club for a few hours. I’m not sure whats going on down there, I havent been since last Thursday, when I went in for the members meeting. After I get home from the basement club, my home help will be here. She’s going to help me clean my house, vacuming needs to be done, and dusting, and laundry. Then I think my mom and lil sis are coming over later. At least thats what mom said last night when I called her. I need milk and tea bags, and she said she’d drop them over to me. What a good mom she’s being to do that. So thats gonna be our day. I also want to do a little prep work for therapy tomorrow evening.
Carol anne

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