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So by now you, our readers know that this month is bad for us. The worst part of the month is halloween and that is because we are ritual abuse survivors.

Last night during therapy we spoke a little bit about halloween and what we would do on that date. I told eileen I wasnt going near our parents house, because our niece and nephew would be there, going trick or treating, dressing up, and I cant be around that due to triggers.

Eileen asked me if I could have a friend come stay with us. I could, but I really dont want to do that. You see, we’ll be in a heightened emotional state, and we’ll be more likely to switch due to that. Well, most of our friends dont know about the did, and so I dont feel comfortable around them when we’re very switchy or in a really vulnerable state.

So probably what I’ll end up doing is staying home alone, being on the phone to my so, and hoping that no kids knock on my door. They probably will, but I wont open it. I have to take care of us first and foremost on that night. Its going to be hard enough to get through the night what with all the triggers it brings up.

If things get really difficult I’ll probably have to take something like a sleeping tablet or something similar. I have to first ask Dr Barry to prescribe one for me. She knows this month is one of our most difficult, so I’m sure she will prescribe meds for us without much persuading.
Carol anne

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