Tags
Abuse, Abusers, Alters, Child abuse, Cult abuse, Did, Dissociative identity disorder, Letter to my abusers, Ritual abuse, Sexual abuse, Writing
You hurt me, really hurt me. Not just physically. But emotionally…mentally, sexually, every fucking way you can imagine, you hurt me. You caused me to split. My mind couldnt take it. So I created alters, insiders, to help me to cope. You caused that. It wasnt because I am crazy. It was because of your abuse. It was because of what you did. You caused my rages as a kid, you caused people to hate me. I hated myself. I shouldnt have hated myself. But its hard not to when everywhere you turn there are cruel gestures, words spoken, acts of cruelty. Everyone thought I was a liar, I was the crazy one. You were the liars. You stole my innocence. You stole my life. You stole my childhood. I hate you. I hate every last one of you. Some things that you did, I’ll never get over. How do you get over being almost strangled? Being almost drowned until you passed out and almost died? Being sexually tortured? Getting raped with objects? Having to participate in a porn ring? Being sold for money? How does a person get past those things? I cant. But some day you’ll have to pay. Some day. I know the truth. My close friends, doctor and therapist know the truth. And I am not beyond help as you always made me believe. Some day you’ll pay.
Carol anne
DotedOn said:
They’ll pay… with the highest interest.
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manyofus1980 said:
I hope so! I really do. XX
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jesspace said:
thats very powerful writing. i can feel the anger behind it. i hope it helped you to get it out. jess
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manyofus1980 said:
It did. It helped a lot. Thanks for the comment babe. I’m lucky to have you reading it. XX
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dazedandlost said:
Reblogged this on suicideasseenbythe1leftbehind.
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dazedandlost said:
Hey CA its Shawnie. I am glad you are able to tell those who hurt you that it wasn’t you but them. I am so glad you have close friends who know you to know its all true what happened to you. Your getting stronger , can you tell?
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manyofus1980 said:
Yes! I can! After therapy today, I definitely know I am getting stronger. Thanks for noticing that too. XX
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dazedandlost said:
GRRRRRRRR… you go girl!
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