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I was reading a post from another blogger friend. About people who come to your door and spout religious crap. Jesus freaks, we call them. They leave you with even more questions than you had before they got to your door. But heres the thing. I don’t believe in god. I don’t practice religion, even though I whristened a catholic. I lost all faith years ago. I guess I lost my faith while I was still being abused. I mean, if there really was a god, why would he allow evil to go on? Wouldn’t he stop it? Wouldn’t the people who do evil have to pay? I’m not sure they are going to pay at all. I know I hope they will. But the truth is they probably wont. And why if there is a god, do you have to wait until you die to pay? Why wouldn’t god make a person who does evil on earth pay on earth? It doesn’t make sense to me. I also gave up praying long ago. Praying never got me anywhere. It only left me feeling frustrated and sad. Because believe me I did pray. I prayed for the abuse to stop. I prayed people would not hurt me. I prayed for my baby to survive, but instead she died. I prayed for other children in my school who were being abused. I fucking prayed. But it made no difference at all. So now I don’t believe in god. If I am going togo to hell for that, then I’m ready. I’ve lived through hell already. Hell was the abuse I went through. 12 years of abuse. So I don’t think gods hell is any worse than that. The only thing I believe in are angels. That’s because I believe when your loved ones die, they become angels and I believe they are there to help us through life. Like as our guides or something. I dunno. All I do know is god is a joke. A fake. A fraud. And I don’t believe in him or have faith in any sort of religion.

Carol anne

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