Tags
Abuse, Alters, Child abuse, Did, Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, God, Multiplicity, PTSD, Religion, Ritual abuse, Sexual abuse, Trauma
I was reading a post from another blogger friend. About people who come to your door and spout religious crap. Jesus freaks, we call them. They leave you with even more questions than you had before they got to your door. But heres the thing. I don’t believe in god. I don’t practice religion, even though I whristened a catholic. I lost all faith years ago. I guess I lost my faith while I was still being abused. I mean, if there really was a god, why would he allow evil to go on? Wouldn’t he stop it? Wouldn’t the people who do evil have to pay? I’m not sure they are going to pay at all. I know I hope they will. But the truth is they probably wont. And why if there is a god, do you have to wait until you die to pay? Why wouldn’t god make a person who does evil on earth pay on earth? It doesn’t make sense to me. I also gave up praying long ago. Praying never got me anywhere. It only left me feeling frustrated and sad. Because believe me I did pray. I prayed for the abuse to stop. I prayed people would not hurt me. I prayed for my baby to survive, but instead she died. I prayed for other children in my school who were being abused. I fucking prayed. But it made no difference at all. So now I don’t believe in god. If I am going togo to hell for that, then I’m ready. I’ve lived through hell already. Hell was the abuse I went through. 12 years of abuse. So I don’t think gods hell is any worse than that. The only thing I believe in are angels. That’s because I believe when your loved ones die, they become angels and I believe they are there to help us through life. Like as our guides or something. I dunno. All I do know is god is a joke. A fake. A fraud. And I don’t believe in him or have faith in any sort of religion.
Carol anne
Multi-Me 
To answer your question, I don’t believe it makes you bad. I dislike religion for the most part as well. I believe one should follow their own personal path. Prayer to me means helping other people. I empathize with your great sense of injustice. Sl
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Thanks SL. I try to help others where I can. I get enjoyment out of helping others. It gives me a sense of purpose. XX
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i am an atheist, born and bred, and i agree with all your arguments why not to believe. truth is, it works for some people, and for others it doesn’t. you are not bad for not being a believer. you have your reasons, and that is enough.
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I guess so. Sometimes I just feel really bad, like if I was a stronger believer, or something. But your right, I do have my reasons. Mainly that god never stopped the abuse I endured. XX
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I don’t think it makes you bad at all- I am sceptical of much that’s taught in all branches of Christianity and I actually believe in something approaching a pantheon of gods that mess around with humans cause they feel like it. Sometimes they’re on your side, other times they’re not. At any rate, I believe you could try to let go of some of your feelings of guilt over not believing. I feel like that would help you- after all, it’s more guilt that you’re carrying that you don’t need or deserve to carry. You deserve to believe what you want to believe- Voltaire was right, everyone should be able to believe what they want. xx
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Thank you! I will try to let the guilt go. Its not easy. But if I work on it maybe? XX
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Have you talked to Dr Barry about this? I talk to my therapist a lot about my religion issues and it does help xx
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No, I havent talked to dr barry about it. But I might just do that. I’ll also talk to my therapist today if I can about it. XX
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I think that’s a brilliant plan. Give it a go and be gentle with yourself xx
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🙂 I’m glad the angels are working for you 🙂
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Thanks, they definitely work for me. The angels are mostly who I talk to now if I am needing clarity about anything. XX
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good! 🙂
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