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Today I am struggling, no, we are struggling. The flashbacks are so overwhelming. You’d think by now I’d be used to them. But do you ever get used to flashbacks? No, I dont think you do. Sometimes, like today, they are just…so….overwhelming. They’ve been hitting me like a ton of bricks. Smashing into the core of my being. Making me shake like a leaf, sweat, feel raw, emotional, its like I am on emotional overload. Sucking me in, and keeping me in the memories for what slike an eternity even though its probably not that long at all. I’m trying everything I can think of to distract. From listening to music I like, to reading, to breatheing deeply, to pacing around the room, to drinking something to feel something in my mouth other than the feel of hands choking me, or grabbing me, or or or…you get the picture. Thank god I only have an hour before my home help gets here. Then I’ll have some company for a while. And our mom is coming over later too. She’s gonna cut our grass and help us do other house related things. I just need the company. I need to not be alone right now. I’m scared to be alone. I’m scared of the outcome of that. Thanks for all the lovely comments guys. It helps to have comments to reply to distract myself. Your all awesome ❤
Carol anne