Tags
Alters, Coping, Depression, Did, Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, Mental health, Mental illness, MPD, Pain, PTSD, Suicidal, Suicide, Trauma
If your easily triggered skip this post. Its just some about my ongoing struggle at this time of the year.
I sware…im in turmoil. I cant handle this night. Nothing bad happened. I went to my aunts as planned. But i left early to go home. I got upset and emotional and overwhelmed and i couldn’t cope.
Im not ok. In fact im suicidal. I hurt. My body hurts. And my head..o god my head it hurts, too. Im just one massive big ball of hurt tonight.
I don’t have a plan right now. But im thinking hard about what i can do. My mind is on overdrive. Im trying distraction techniques. Im talking to my angels. Im trying to think of people who i love and who love me and care about me and don’t want me to die. But damn, its freaking hard. What if i’m a burden on the world. What if the people who say they care about me really don’t?
Is anybody out there? If you are, i could use some friends to talk to. Im reaching out. Im suicidal, low, not coping, emotional, and very stressed out. If your out there, please let me know you hear me. I’ll be forever grateful to you.
carol anne
Multi-Me 
You are NOT a burden on the world. The people who love you, LOVE you. And your friends are here to support you. We’re here. You have 220 followers who care about you. This will pass. xxx
LikeLike
thanks. i hope your right. it feels so, um, well i dunno, overwhelming right now. i feel so lost. thank you for caring. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here are loads of ridiculous smiley faces to lift you up – 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 Ok, I’m being silly. xx It may feel overwhelming at the moment but it will pass. xx
LikeLike
awwww. your sweet. thanks just what I need a lift. love to you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Night, night!
LikeLike
I didnt end up sleeping for most of the night. I lay awake tossing and turning. XX
LikeLike
Adding our encouragement. We care. Hoping that the difficult feelings pass soon.
LikeLike
Thanks Makers dozn. appreciate the support. XX
LikeLike
You already know I’m around too…I’m not doing anything tonight if you need support
LikeLike
Thanks for the support. Your all so good to me to us. We appreciate it. XX
LikeLike
Hopefully today is better. I think it was just a bad weekend in general. The air seems fresher today!
LikeLike
Yes, although its very wet here. We’re due to get the tail end of a hurricane! Ug!
LikeLike
It’s 50 and the sun is coming in and out here. I’m in a training today so it’s going by pretty fast. Glad to hear your feeling alright. I like storms but I’m weird. Stay safe ❤
LikeLike
Oooooh, yeah your weird, ha ha! Kidding you! I hate storms! So scary. XX
LikeLike
Sending you brave. At least its a distraction (good reframe?)
LikeLike
Maybe remember the hug you got from your grandfather when you brought him a lunch that he enjoyed.
LikeLike
Thanks I will. It was nice. It touched me deeply. XX
LikeLike
Hang in there.
LikeLike
take a bath maybe, or read…..you probably already tried that. im always here too if you need me-just let me know
LikeLike
Thanks Kat. I did read. It helped. Reading allows me into someone else’s world. Its an escape. Thanks for the support.XX
LikeLike
It’ll be okay again, when these feelings go. This too shall pass. In the meantime, how do you look after yourself and care for yourself best? What makes you feel good, feel nurtured?
LikeLike
Wow…difficult one. What makes me feel good. Well…Nitro does. He’s amazing. He loves me no matter what. A hot shower. That also does it for me. Feeling the water on my skin just washing over me, thats bliss. Music. I love my music. Games on my iphone help distract me sometimes. Talking to friends. Talking to my angels. Relaxing in front of a good tv show. Doing meditation. All of this helps me feel nurtured. XX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Carol Anne,
I’m so glad I read this post late (Monday evening) when I knew already that you were fine. 🙂
A lot of people care about you, remember that you are not alone 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks. I’m trying. I really am. XX
LikeLike
I know you are 🙂
You are very brave!! ❤
LikeLike