so i woke up not able to breathe again. i spent a few minutes just laying there trying to gather myself. eventually though I just got up because there’s no point in laying there feeling triggered. I got a drink, went to the bathroom and tried to calm down. My heart was racing and my legs and body were shaking. this feels so miserable. I feel so miserable. I feel sick and I wish someone was here to keep reminding me that its memories, its the past creeping in on me. Its so hard to hold that thought in my brain when the breathing attacks hit. they bring back so much bad thoughts, so many vivid memories. I think its time for yet another hot drink. a hot drink, some music, or something to help ground me. Yes. thats what I need.