I celebrate myself Preemie blessings14

Tags

babies, baby, birth, Children, Hospital, Kids, Preemie, Preemieblessings14, Prematurity

November is national preemie awareness month. Being that I was a premature baby, I am choosing to participate in the challenge that Michelle over at preemie blessings is doing.

Her question is who are you celebrating this month, to raise awareness of prematurity? I’m celebrating myself.

I was born at 27 weeks. I wasn’t meant to survive. I had breathing problems and underdeveloped lungs. I also had underdeveloped eyes which led to my blindness.

I was kept in hospital for exactly 3 months after I was born. My parents would visit but I was in an incubator so they could not hold me that much. So the bond to my parents wasn’t that strong. That is why attachment is such a big issue for me today.

After 3 months in the hospital I came home. But the rest of that first year, I was in and out of hospital all the time. Going home no one knew I was blind. It is only due to my mom getting no reaction out of me when she put toys in front of me that led her to question things and take me back to the doctors where blindness was diagnosed after lots of tests.

Despite my early life being frought with hospital visits and sickness I’m still here. Now an adult in my mid 30’s I am thriving. And I am so happy to be alive. Today, I celebrate myself and my life and the fact that I survived.

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They break, you know…

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Abuse, Aged out foster kids, Child abuse, Child protective services, Children, CPS, Foster care, Foster child, Foster family, Fostering, Kids, Social worker, Trauma

OMG, people please read this. It has a very important message in it. Its really sad, so have tissues at hand. I hope it touches you as much as it touched us.

http://www.bluntmoms.com/break-know/

Blindness didnt hold me back

Tags

Blindness, Children, Disability, Disabled, Family, Mom, Parenting, Reading, Visual impairment, Visually impaired

So as most of my readers know I was born blind. I was actually born 13 weeks premature. Back in 1980 not much was known about premature babies. I wasn’t expected to survive. I spent 13 weeks after I was born in the hospital, with many complications. I had underdeveloped lungs. I had no backs to my eyes. That is how I became blind. I don’t really have any eye condition persay. As a young child however, I was encouraged by my parents to be “normal”. Now I know all disabled kids are “Normal”, but well, some kids are very sheltered. They aren’t allowed to do certain things. They are wrapped in cotton wool and protected. I am glad my parents didn’t wrap me in cotton wool. It thought me to be self sufficient, and independent. Even before I was ever abused, I was self sufficient. I always wanted to do things by myself, it was like I was trying to prove that just because I was blind, didn’t mean I was stupid. My mom taught me how to talk by pressing her lips to mine and repeating words over and over again. And I learned to talk really early on. I was talking by 18 months, with lots of words. Another thing I was encouraged to do was socialise with my non disabled peers. I had many friends as a young child. I went to pre-school, and I exceled in class. I loved it there. I loved climbing, and running around like any normal 3 year old. Being blind never held me back. I learned to read braille in later years and once I did I started reading a lot. I was five years old when I left for the bording school. While I hated it there and was abused badly, and became very withdrawn, I did learn some good things there too. I got my education there for the most part. I don’t think I’d be where I am today if I didn’t get such a good education. I also don’t think I’d be where I am today if my parents didn’t think outside the box. If they didn’t push me to be like everyone else around me.

Carol anne

Oh how our nephew loves his cake…

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Cake, Children, Cuteness, Food, Fun, Funny photo, Funny picture, Kids, Photo, Picture

Isnt he cute? “I sware, I sware, I didnt touch the cake…I didnt?” LMAO.

Children believe what they are told

Tags

Abuse, Abuse survivor, Children, Complex PTSD, Emotional abuse, Healing, Kids, Mental illness, Parental abuse, PTSD, Trauma

This is a really powerful ad that the ISPCC made two years ago. It brings home what emotional abuse does to a child. Please be aware it is extremely triggering if you’ve ever been emotionally abused. It has a powerful message though that is why I wanted to share it.

Our psychiatrist has kids, and yes, we are effected by that

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Alters, Blog, Children, Did, Doctor, Family, Kids, Life, Mental health, Mental illness, Psychiatrist appointment, PTSD

So at our last psychiatrist apt, Dr Barry had to answer her phone. Her child minder rang. Apparently her little boy who is four, had asked for lunch and then when he got the food he wouldnt eat it, and spat into it. Not sure why her childminder couldnt handle that little problem, but she decided to ring Dr Barry, and we just happened to be with her when the call came in. Can I just say Dr Barry is the most kind, caring, considerate, concerned mom I’ve ever witnessed? She told her child minder to put her little boy on the phone to her. And she spoke to him at his level. And she wasnt rushing because we were in the room either. She asked him about how he was feeling, and was there anything wrong to make him do what he did. Then she proceeded to tell her child minder that she’d try to get home at a reasonable time that evening to talk to her kid, and see what the problem could be. She thought it might be that he was starting school the following week so was having some emotional upset regarding that.

So why am I saying all this? Well you see…this conversation between Dr Barry and her kid really effected our littles. They wonder why they dont have a mom who treats them in that kind, caring, concerned way. They wonder why they have to be treated like a grown up, when they are just kids? And before anyone points it out, we all do know we’re in a grown up body. But still…our mom does know about our did, she just chooses to ignore it most of the time. Now I am left to wonder should I even bring this up with Dr barry? Is it fair to her? I mean she was only doing what any normal mom would do. And she couldnt help it that we were in the room listening to her call. She did go outside the door for part of it but we could still here what was being said. So what to do, what to do now? I think I will bring it up to her. At least then if it were to happen again, she would be mindful and sensitive to how it effects us. I am just really nervous to bring it up. Plus it also brought home the fact that yes our psychiatrist does have a life outside of work. And yes she has a family and yes she does other things besides working as a doctor. I kind of forget that sometimes.
Carol anne

i helped our mom to baby sit

Tags

Babysitting, Children, Family, Food, Fun, Kids, Movies

our mom was baby sitting our niece and nephew last night
our sister and her partner went out for a meal
and to a drive in movie
and so our mom baby sat and i helped her
the kids were mostly good
they went to bed pretty late though
i watched curious george the first movie with lauren
i had seen it before
she loved it
we ate poopcorn and pizza and it was fun
the only down side to it is that the kids were up super early this morning
like 7 AM
i wanted to sleep in but i couldnt
so eventually we got up too
allie 9