I had some time to talk in therapy last night. It went like this.
Me: Eileen, did you think about adopting me?
Eileen: I know that’s really on your mind a lot lately, isn’t it?
Me: Yes always.
Eileen: Have you tried going into that room we created inside, with me in it?
Me: Yeah, but its not the same as having a forever family. I just want a forever family who’ll love me, see me, take care of me…
Eileen: But what about the rest of the system?
Me: They could come with me when I move in with you.
Eileen: And what about Nitro?
Me: Oh he can come too. You can have all of us wrapped up in one big parcel.
Eileen: Its a lovely image to think about isn’t it?
Me: I wish I didn’t have to just think about it. I really really wish you could do it. Your family are really lucky to have you…do they even realise how lucky they are?
Eileen with a laugh: I am not so sure they see it like that.
Me: Well they should. Why didn’t I get a family like yours? If you adopted me I bet you’d make rules, would you?
Eileen: It would be nice to have a life without rules wouldn’t it?
Me: Sure it would.
Me: I bet your family are really nice people? Even if I don’t know them yet.
Eileen: So you really want either me or Dr Barry to adopt you? How would that happen, Dr barry cant move in with me?
Me: Ok, I’ll spend half the week with your family, and half with Dr Barrys. That’d work?
Eileen: You have it all worked out don’t you?
Me: I wish I could see you. I hate not being able to see. If I could see you could give me a picture of you to look at.
Eileen: I know. That would be nice. But maybe we can record my voice, maybe I can do a meditation for you, or something nice like that. What do you think?
Me: Ok, but I still wish I could see you..what do you look like?
Eileen: Well I’m five foot 8, with hazel eyes, I have brown hair with a hint of red and blonde going through it, its not very noticeable though, just a hint of those two colors…and, I could stand to lose a few pounds…
Me: I bet your super skinny. And you wear glasses too, you forgot that bit.
Then our time was up. But I’m having more time next session. I guess we’ll talk more about that then. I wonder if I can convince her to adopt me in some way?