I just hallucinated. I hate that so much. I just saw one of my abusers. She berated me. She really got to me. I could hear her voice so intensely. It scared me. It really fucking scared me. Her voice was so vivid, the words loud and clear. I really hate this. It makes me feel less strong. When I hallucinate it makes me feel vulnerable. Seeing one of my abusers, their face, hearing their voice, makes it seem all so real again. Like I am back there. Like its happening all over again. I hate it.