I will be deleting this blog really soon. I now blog over at
Please come join me over there!
So…I was meant to go see our occupational therapist Mark today. I didn’t go. Call me lazy, but…the weather outside is miserable. Its been raining hard all morning, and…I just didn’t feel like going out and getting soaked to the skin. So I texted him at 9 AM, our appointment was for 12 PM. I said that I wouldn’t be coming but that I’d phone him later. And I did. We had a long chat over the phone. And we rearranged our appointment for two weeks time. He’s a really awesome person who knows how to do his job and do it well. He said he had lots to discuss with me when we meet next. We’re going to finish doing the interest list, and he and I did some research into different things, like singing lessons, the gym and membership, swimming and cycling amongst other things. This is all so I can become more involved in the community, to make and build connections, all so that my mental health will be better and I’ll have other things to focus on to keep me well and stable. A bonus to our conversation today was he asked if I am ok, if there is anything I needed to talk about, or tell him, if my weeks been ok. He didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to care. It left me feeling really cared about and since I didn’t see Dr Barry this week because she’s on vacation, it was nice to have Mark check on me to ensure I’m ok and safe. I honestly feel really really lucky to have such an awesome and dedicated team supporting me and helping me through all of my struggles. Mark isn’t even part of Dr Barrys team, but when I moved over to her team about a year ago now, he kept me on as a client. He also didn’t have to do that. Its not usually done. So I really do feel blessed and so very lucky to have him as part of my team.
Resilience has a number of important tools.
Resilient people are aware of the situation, their own emotional reactions and the behaviour of those around them. In order to manage feelings, it is essential to understand what is causing them and why. By remaining aware, resilient people can maintain their control of the situation and think of new ways to tackle problems.
AN UNDERSTANDING THAT SETBACKS ARE PART OF LIFE:
Another characteristic of resilience is the understanding that life is full of challenges. While we cannot avoid many of these problems, we can remain open, flexible and willing to adapt to change.
Do you perceive yourself as having control over your own life? Or do you blame outside sources for failure and problems? Generally, resilient people tend to have what psychologists call an internal locus of control. They believe that the action they take will affect the outcome of an event. Of course, some factors are simply outside of our personal control, such as natural disasters. While we may be able to put some blame on external causes, it is important to feel as if we have the power to make choices that will affect our situation, our ability to cope and our future. Responsibility is not blame it is taking ownership.
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THAT BIG PICTURE:
Aim for long-term goals, whilst you tick off and enjoy the short term ones.
STRONG PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS:
When a crisis emerges, will you be able to spot the solution that will lead to a safe outcome. In danger situations, people sometimes develop tunnel vision. They fail to note important details or take advantage of opportunities. Resilient individuals, on the other hand, are able to calmly and rationally look at the problem and envision a successful solution.
HAVING STRONG SOCIAL CONNECTIONS:
Whenever you’re dealing with a problem, it is important to have people who can offer support.
Talking about the challenges you are facing can be an excellent way to gain perspective, look of new solutions or simply express your emotions.
IDENTIFYING AS A SURVIVOR, NOT A VICTIM:
When dealing with any potential crisis, it is essential to view yourself as a survivor. Avoid thinking like a victim of circumstance, and instead look for ways to resolve the problem. While the situation may be unavoidable, or perhaps unappealing you can still stay focused on a positive outcome.
BEING ABLE TO AS FOR HELP:
While being resourceful is an important part of resilience, it is also essential to know when to ask for help. During a crisis, people can benefit from the help of psychologist and counsellors specially trained to deal with crisis situations. What might be other useful supports for you?
Can you roll with change? Be prepared to look critically at you, your attitudes and your choices and plans. Are they working? Maybe you are limited yourself. Maybe it is a great idea, but the timing is wrong. Maybe it’s time to try something else, something new? Or mix some new things in with your existing practice? Be open to change if needed.
Thanks child abuse, for taking sooo much away from me.
Thanks child abuse, for making my life miserable on most days.
Thanks child abuse, for showing me how bad the world can be.
Thanks child abuse, for making me believe that I was unlovable.
Thanks child abuse, for showing me how inhumane some people really are.
Thanks child abuse, for allowing me to hold back my tears, for fear I’d be ridiculed.
Yes, thanks child abuse. Because of you, most days, i don’t know how to be, act, feel, i don’t know how to be me.