I will be deleting this blog really soon. I now blog over at
Please come join me over there!
I know I’ve been pretty quiet lately. I had a long and hard think. I was going to stop blogging publically. I wasn’t sure whether I should keep going or not. A lot of what I post is so personal, and lots of people read it. But its always the same few who comment. Don’t get me wrong, I am always glad of any comments I get. But when I post such deep and personal stuff about my life, and my story, sometimes I get paranoid as to who is reading and what are they thinking after reading what I post. I really wish more people who read would take the time to say hi, or let me know their thoughts, or just tell me if they agree or disagree etc. I know I cant make people do that though. I do realise its up to them whether they want to ingteract or not. I always try to engage with the blogs that I read. I think its only right. But as for how we’re doing, I’ll post up a few entries about whats been going on. Thank you to those of you who sent me kind comments asking how we are and where we are and stuff. It is what spurred me to come out and blog again. So, thanks, friends. Your kindness really means a lot.
1. I like myself because its important to my healing that I like even love, myself.
2. I’m an expert at socialising.
3. I feel good about all the comments i receive on my blog. I appreciate all you kind people out there.
4. My friends would tell you I am a great listener.
5. My favorite place is….. Disneyworl florda
6. I’m loved by…..my partner, my family, and hopefully my friends.
7. People say I am a good……. writer
8. I’ve been told I have pretty…….hair.
9. I consider myself a good conversation starter.
10. What I enjoy most is….. being with friends and having fun
11. The person I admire most is my partner. She struggles a lot and she always keeps on trying no matter what. She’s an inspiration to me.
12. I have a natural talent for…….snging.
13. Goals for my future are……. try to gain employment and to continue working on my healing.
14. I know I will reach my goals because I am…. resilient and strong.
15. People compliment me about….. my smile and my sociability.
16. I feel good when I….. give to or help others.
17. I’ve been successful at…… making lots of friends, and surviving my childhood.
18. I laugh when I think about…..certain tv shows, like big bang theory, or certain memories with my partner.
19. The traits I admire myself for are:…….. nonjudgmental, generosity, thoughtfulness, and compassion
20. I feel peaceful when I’m listening to the birds sing, when I meditate, and when I think of my angels.
I got a pretty big fright yesterday. Someone started following me who writes porn. I panicked and took my blog into hiding until i managed to sort it out. I did sort it and they are no longer following me now thankfully. I guess that is the danger of blogging publically, anyone and everyone could start following you. And there are some weirdos out there who get their kicks from other peoples pain and trauma. Its sad, but true.
Has anyone ever had anything like this happen to them? If you have I’m interested in hearing how you dealt with it.
For now, I’m going to be looking carefully at all new followers…checking them out to make sure they are legit and not undesirables.
I need to privatise my blog. If my followers are interested in following me, please leave me a comment here and I’ll add you. I’m sorry to have to do this but something has come up. for now I need to keep us safe. I’d feel safer if my thoughts were less public. I dont mind people following me once I know whose following and can monitor it.If your interested, would you comment to this so I will have your email address so that I can add you to the list?
So far i’ve had a busy Saturday. I went to visit my granddad, our moms dad. He got diagnosed with lung cancer a couple of weeks ago, and i hadn’t seen him since his diagnosis. He was in good spirits today. I brought him some lunch which he actually ate, which is a first for him as usually he barely eats anything. Since he had his stomach removed a few years ago, he cant eat a lot of foods because they make him sick. But he ate the lunch i brought him so that made me happy. He was showing our mom and sister old baby photos. He had some baby pictures of our mom, when she was 18 months old. He gave her a picture to keep, of her and her older brother visiting santa clause. Our mom was delighted. It was a good visit, even though we only stayed for an hour. We could only stay for an hour because our sister was parked in a place where you need a parking disk and the disk only lasts for 60 minutes. When we were leaving our granddad gave me the biggest hug and thanked me for lunch. It was so touching.
This evening i’m going to our aunts to watch x factor with her and also to see her new puppy. She named the puppy milly. This is the aunt who lost her dog Tess, about two weeks ago. I am so looking forward to seeing the new puppy. I love dogs and i bet she’s really cute. Plus it will also be nice to see my cousins and aunt and spend some quality time with them.
I’m really full up now. Our sister made a thai green curry which was totally awesome. It was really hot though so my mouth is burning now. There was some left over which i froze and am going to use up during this week. Our sister is a great cook and i love it when she cooks dinner for me.
Despite being very overwhelmed and fragile, I still had a lot to be happy about this week. Here are just a few of the things I was happy about…in no particular order…
Spending time with my niece and nephew!
Tacos for dinner today!
A good doctor and therapy appointment
Reading a wonderful and inspiring book
Good friends, and good conversations
A lovely weekend away with my mom and sister
Spending time with my dog, Notro.
And despite everything, I’m happy I’m alive!
Ok. Curiousity has gotten the better of me.
I’ve got over 200 followers to this here blog. But I rarely hear from most of you. That makes me sad because I feel like I am missing out on getting to know all of you amazing bloggers and forming new friendships along the way also.
I try to comment on blogs as I can. I feel like its important that I do it, if I am following a persons journey, whatever their blog happens to be about. Most of the blogs I follow are peoples personal experiences with mental illness. I do follow a few other bloggers too who I find interesting and or inspiring.
So here is my question. To the people who are following silently, I’d like to get to know you, say hi, have some conversations going back and forth.
Please dont be shy. Introduce yourself and lets become friends. That would make me very happy.
Also it would let me know you are here, and you are real. Thanks guys.